True Confession Of The City App-Share Driver

I don’t even remeber my last post in here as I have been focused more a bit on my more “main stream” blog focusing on cryptocurrency. Check it out.

Aside from my adventures into the market of “fake internet money” (thats my favorite when people tell me I;m wasting time), I have become a driver for the populer app-share ride services Uber and Lyft. All I can say is it certainly keeps life interesting. I have had some interesting conversations with people, had some crazy rides, and been told some peoples life stories in a 15 min car ride. I have decided to highlight some of the best moment I’ve had and give you a general idea of the time of night/day it is so you get a sense of what this is like.

Friday night around 9:30 waiting by a nice resturant in the north end

Passenger come running to the door and hops in: “Hey man, Can you like step on it? or at least just get out of here? NOW? Worry about the GPS after 2 traffic lights, crazy bitch…”
Me: “You didn’t just do anything illegal did you? I don’t want to be an accessory to your crime. Plus I think Lyft has a policy against that….”
Passenger: “Nah, not illegal, a little crazy maybe. Just broke up with my 5 year girlfriend, and she thought i was proposing tonight.”
Me: “Wow thats a terrible mixup! Sorry to hear it didn’t work out.”
Passenger: “No trust me, I got out alive. I got my spare key from her when she went to bathroom and left me her purse. I was more concerned with her running out after me throwing shit and hitting your, wow, nice car.”
Me: “Much appreciated. GPS time, so headed home?”
Passenger: “Didn’t you just hear the story? I’m single after 5 years. Do you know how to get to Centerfold’s?” (strip club in Boston)

Sometimes when these people tell you their life stories in a 10 min car ride and you don’t know how to respond, ‘Do I say sorry? Congrats?’

Friday night around 11 @ The Whiskey Priest 

Call from passenger: “Umm Hi. I know the app is saying pick us up here but were out in front of the whiskey priest. How far are you? My friend isnt feeling well.”
Me already nervous since I know what “not feeling well” really means…
Me: “Yes, I just need to pull a u-turn up the road, should be there in 3 minutes.”
Pulling up to the bar, I see 2 girls stumble in my direction…
Sober girl 1: “Sorry. My friend isnt feeling all that well. Were going to the BU south dorms.”
Drunk girl 2: “Where are we going? Who’s that guy driving? I want another shot…”
Girl 1: “No, It’s time for us to go home. That nice guy is bringing us back home.”
Girl 2: “Are you sure he’s not kidnapping us? I think hes kidnapping us. We should scream for help!”
Girl 1: “No [Annonymous], We’re not screaming. This nice guy’s name is Cory and hes doing a great job at bringing us home.”
Girl 2: “Ok well I’ve read about Uber drivers raping their passengers. I don’t feel good. Where are we?”
Girl 1: “I know you don’t like Uber, this is Lyft, and I don’t think Cory wants to harm us. We will be home in 15 minutes I promise.”

We hit traffic

Girl 2: “I don’t feel good, I feel sick…”
Girl 1: “Do you feel like you need to throw up?”
Me: “If she gets that look, I’m dropping you guys off up here on the corner of Comm ave and Mass Ave. No one is getting sick in my car tonight.”
Girl 2: “No, but I will when we get home…”

I keep peeking in my rearview mirror looking for ‘the look’ 

Girl 1: “Do you have a bag just in case?”
Me: “Here, I’ve had this happen before. You are going to be very unhappy and possibly broke if she gets sick in this car. They will charge you a cleaning fee, and because my car is brand new, its usually $150-$200 and you ordered the Lyft so its your card.”
Girl 1: “I think she’ll be fine.”

4 Block from their dorm, I see ‘the look’

Girl 2: “I can’t find my phone! I lost it at the bar, we need to go ba…… *Cough and a heave* I need to be home!”
Me: “Get out.”
Girl 1: “No please it’s just up here a little further!”
Me: “Yes through Kenmore and 2 stop lights. Get the fuck out right now…”

Sober girl gets out and helps drunk girl

Girl 1: “You know you’re kind of an ass h….”

Before she can finish, her friend with 1 foot ouf of the car projectile vomits all over her sober friends legs and shoes just missing my car by 5″

Me: “See? I’m sure a load of laundry is cheaper then a $200 cleaning fee. Have a nice night.”

I could tell she was going to be a problem so I just beat her to the punch, called Lyft and told them i had to kick out someone becasue they were drunk and about to get sick in my car. The support person responded with: “Thats fair. I get a lot of these calls on weekend nights. Her rating won’t effect you and we will adjust your fare as if you completed the full trip, and not stopping 1/2 way.”

I have more, but those were this weekends highlights. That and the 2 girls I had to bring to Brockton at 2:30am when I already called last ride… Last ride took 44 mins and 30 miles. paid well but pain in the ass.